Yellow Iris
by Sailor Panda
Summary: Memories that haunt can be the hardest to break free from, no matter how hard a person tries.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Be forewarned – alternate pairing and spoilers for manga-verse, at least chapter 96 and possibly beyond, so those who have seen the anime might be a little lost on some points. Even people up to date with current manga issues might be a bit lost as I kept some things vague – it was hard fitting everything I wanted within a 2,500 word limit. Heh.

Originally written for the Fruity Group ML 'Memories' fanfiction contest.

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

oOoOoOo

He couldn't sit still.

It was nothing new. Long ago he'd learned that keeping busy could help him avoid thinking about things he didn't want to think about, or dwelling on old memories and conflicting feelings that he never seemed to be able to get away from. Not thinking was key.

But, today, it seemed impossible.

oOoOoOo

_"Oh! I didn't expect to see you here – or this late."_

_He turned. Though the night and fog of a spring night blurred her features from sight, he could perfectly picture the puzzled concern sure to be written on her familiar face. It was already in her tone._

_"Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine."_

_She didn't believe him – he didn't care._

_He walked away, wasn't completely surprised to hear footsteps falling alongside his. She said nothing, though her worry was almost tangible, and he wasn't sure if that pleased or annoyed him. That is, until he broke silence first._

_"You wouldn't understand."_

_"Maybe. But I'm willing to listen."_

_So he told her and, in the midst of telling, began to recall faint rumors that he'd been too self-absorbed to pay anything but the slightest of attention to until that moment. Those recollections reminded him that perhaps she really would understand, though the circumstances for her understanding differed from his. And something in him eased at being in the presence of another who could understand his turmoil._

_After all, she had been rejected and left behind by the one she loved too._

oOoOoOo

He would have preferred company. Still, rearranging things gave him something to do as he waited for time to pass until the day was over. What he did needed to be done and so he did it, though the purpose for it was more than just one.

It was familiar. It kept him busy. It kept him from dwelling upon things that should not be dwelled.

Sometimes.

oOoOoOo

_"What's your favorite flower?"_

_He paused in the midst of sorting through boxes. Her help offered in this as well as in a variety of areas over the past few months since that fateful night was as familiar a pattern now as his acceptance of it. It was in the odd camaraderie between them now, built on shared pain and understanding, where there had been none of its like before that he sat with a quiet and relaxed ease that he presented to few others besides her. It amused him to think of other's shocked reactions were they to see his behavior now, even as he regarded her quizzically and responded to the her question._

_"Why do you ask?"_

_"Just…curious. A friend mentioned reading about how a person's favorite flower often suits the person."_

_" Friend? Was it-"_

_"No." A laugh. "A different friend. You've met her before."_

_"Ah. A her."_

_She nodded. "So? Favorite flower?"_

_"Well.…" He thought hard; no one had ever asked him before. "An iris?"_

_"Ah."_

_"What? Good 'ah' or bad 'ah'?"_

_"Neither. Just…a thoughtful 'ah.'"_

_"And the thought behind it?"_

_"I think…iris is fitting."_

_He felt somewhat surprised. "What makes you think that?"_

_"Well, if I recall correctly, the book my friend showed me said that an iris is also called fleur-de-lis. The meaning of the flower itself, I think, can be hope, promise, faith, or valor. Iris can also mean a rainbow or a show of colors in various hues just like a rainbow. It's beautiful…and I think it suits you perfectly."_

_Flattered, he smiled and winked. "Well, it would have to be a yellow iris since that's the color I like best."_

_She shook her head and laughed._

_"I have to say I'm impressed though."_

_"Impressed?" A bemused blink. "Why?" _

_"Because there are a variety of flowers in the world. That you remember so much about one out of the many that must have been in that book is quite a feat, I think."_

_"Oh, that." She blushed. "That was just because the entry for the iris especially caught my attention." An embarrassed smile. "Fleur-de-lis has a very pretty ring to it, doesn't it?"_

_He just laughed._

oOoOoOo

There was no time for smiles or laughter, nor was he in the mood for either.

He threw himself into one physical activity after another, trying to keep his body busy so as to outrun the speed of thoughts in his mind. There was much to do for a single person and he was prepared to take them on to distract himself into forgetting.

He hated doing things alone.

oOoOoOo

_Their first kiss was shared over the gift of a yellow iris flower clutched in a tiny feminine hand. The touch of lips was brief and light and over almost as soon as it had begun._

_It was an accident._

_If asked, however, he would have been hard-pressed to explain just how a kiss was accidental when they were standing still in a place devoid of all but them and no strong winds in sight. One moment she was offering him a flower and birthday felicitations with a smile he felt meant just for him – the next suddenly had him staring into wide shocked eyes that loomed in his vision as he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. Still, he was certain that the odd event of touching lips was owed to some force that wasn't him or her and, thus, the result _had_ to be accidental. _

_What other explanation could there be?_

_He would have tried brushing off the incident lightheartedly, but that didn't feel right and the confusion of just what he should do led him to doing the one thing he rarely ever did. He apologized and wasn't completely sure that he actually meant it._

"_I'm sorry."_

_A blushing shy smile bloomed with an equally shy whispered, "Don't be. I liked it."_

_It suddenly occurred to him then that he had liked it too._

oOoOoOo

He wasn't enjoying it at all. Still, he scrubbed and scrubbed, working furiously and with a single-minded persistence that those who did not know him well would never credit him with. Though he disliked the chore, he didn't give up and continued battling against un-cleanliness.

Some dirty spots _needed_ to be erased.

oOoOoOo

_"I'm worried."_

_Eight months after their kiss and the slow unexpected flowering between them since of something new and secretly wonderful, her words were sudden and out of the blue. Concerned, he turned to where she settled beside him on the couch, he gaze vague with trepidation. He didn't like to see that look in her eyes._

_"Why?"_

_"I'm not sure exactly."_

_"Well, it's probably nothing."_

_"Perhaps."_

_"Oh, no, no. Life shouldn't be halted on just a 'perhaps.' You should smile instead of frown. Only smiles belong on a pretty face and bless the world brighten with its sunny rays. So smile for me, please?"_

_She did, though it was faint as she quietly said, "I love you. And, whatever happens…I'll always want to be with you."_

_He'd heard its like so many times over the past few months. Still, her words had not lost their effect and it was with a full heart that he took her hand in one of his and lifted it to his lips where he placed a tender kiss and replied in kind._

_"I love you, too."_

oOoOoOo

He should have known. He should have been prepared. Should have done better. Should have predicted it was about to happen when it did. Should have, should have, should have…so many things he should have done.

But didn't.

oOoOoOo

_The screaming wasn't anything he hadn't heard before, but having it directed at him specifically was not a usual occurrence. Also new was that it was also directed at someone who shouldn't have been in the midst of it, for all that she was just as involved._

_That made it all the more terrifying._

"_How DARE you!"_

_The screeching thundered over him once again, a mere instant amongst the hours that had already passed. A glance to the kneeling figure at his side showed him that she was just as apprehensive as he concerning the final outcome._

"_Don't look at her!"_

_He snapped back to the speaker, raging nightmare of all Jyunnishi._

"_How dare you ignore me?" the nightmare snarled, wrath trembling in trailing cloth. And then the wrath was suddenly gone, replaced by gentle smile made all the more chilling for its erratic change. "I see, I see." A nod, a laugh. "I should have known. So obvious, after all."_

_Fear rippled over him. What was so obvious?_

_The answer was far from what he'd hoped for. _

"_I should have seen it before," that now disturbingly pleasant voice murmured. "A cry for help, yes. That's what it is. After all, you knew what I'd do once I found out. Silly man, you didn't have to hide it. You know I would have done it regardless had you just asked. Well, you should be overjoyed then – I'll grant your wish." A glance and a gesture. "You know what to do – Hatori."_

"_No!" was what he ached to cry in sudden horrified realization. _

_But he couldn't._

_Hands clamped over his mouth before he could make a sound, more joined in restraining his struggles, strong and impossible to break. Vaguely, he thought he heard hushed murmuring in the distance but couldn't be sure as a familiar face suddenly filled his vision, penetrating the frenzied fog clouding his mind. That face he'd thought was friend, but now the features were stiff with anger and an odd resigned sadness._

"_You should have told me," that face whispered, gaze flickering to the nightmare and then back. "If I'd known beforehand, I might have had time to use my influence to smooth this over – but it's too late now. You're going to have to let her go."_

_He screamed denial that never made it beyond the hands stifling his mouth. Fruitlessly he struggled, but the restraints upon him never released no matter how hard his attempts, though their grips did shift and caused the wall of flesh that held him to part, allowing a visual path to a sight he'd remember for the rest of his days, however long that might be._

_He saw her, nearly as restrained as he by imprisoning hands. Their gazes met and held, the emotion in her eyes clear as they overflowed with tears. And in that final moment, just before memory stealing hands reached out to take her away, her lips uttered words he couldn't hear but read and emblazoned forever in his heart _

_He swore he'd never forget._

oOoOoOo

Three years past and that day was here once more. The cursed day of his birth. The anniversary of a long ago fateful first kiss. The marking of the day she was forcibly taken away, cast to a place no one would reveal to him.

Just as her memories had been taken from her.

He still couldn't forgive Akito for that.

Perhaps that bitterness would never go away. Then again, if he had managed to forgive his two best friends – though not until recently – for their parts in that nightmare, perhaps there was still hope.

Perhaps.

Distant tinkling of tiny bells told of the entry of a new customer. Forcing a smile, he made his way to the front with as much professionalism as he could muster.

"Welcome. May I-"

He broke off as the figure turned, revealing just whom his customer was. A surprising picture of sweet innocence in white sundress and cradling a bouquet of yellow iris, she smiled just as she had so many times before.

He managed to say, "I wasn't expecting you."

"I'm sorry. I know we said later tonight, but I couldn't wait…should I have?"

"No." He smiled, casting away old sorrows. "It's only fitting, now that I think about it."

"It is?"

"Of course! After all, exactly a year ago you suddenly reappeared in my store and my life in that very spot – well, over _there_ actually – just when I was about to loose all faint hope. Like an angel in white and clutching those very same flowers – you were the best birthday present I'd had in a long while. Although a bit belated, perhaps. I was, after all, expecting you a little sooner."

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, guilt stricken. "I wanted to come back sooner but the memories - If Hana-chan hadn't helped, I don't know if I could have even gotten them back when I had and-"

She broke off as he laughed, so hard he was nearly bent over double clutching his belly. He was still chuckling when managed to rise and meet her accusatory little frown.

"Sorry. But you know I like to tease."

She just sighed.

He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, enjoying her blush. "I'll make it up to you. Anything you want. Promise."

"Anything?" A tentative glance. "Even if I asked if we could…visit Kyou-kun?"

He stiffened.

"It's just- Well, I haven't seen him since before he agreed to Akito-san's imprisoning him and told me to leave him alone. A-And I know I've avoided it since I came back and I don't know what he's been told but I thought he should hear about us from us and-"

"Okay."

"I- What?'

"Okay." He exhaled. "I agree. Just…not today, okay?"

"Oh, no! Later's fine!"

"Good. Because today should just be about us. Unless…there's interference. Little brother and I _have_ been getting along quite well lately and-"

"I don't think we have to worry. Yuki-kun's been spending more time with Machi-san lately – I think he's gearing up to propose. Everyone else, I'm sure, will be nice enough to leave us alone tonight. And Shigure-san even assured me that he'd keep Akito-san…um, busy."

He chuckled, judging from her blush that it probably wasn't the word Shigure had used. "Well, he does have his uses sometimes. Good thing you talked me into forgiving him. And Tori-san, too."

"You can't blame them too much. Maybe if we had handled things differently-"

"No, not tonight. Depressing things shouldn't be discussed on a happy night."

"Ah, that reminds me!" She held out her bouquet. "Happy birthday, Ayame-san!"

With a smile, he shook his head and brushed a brief kiss across her lips before accepting the floral offering. One day, he'd get her to drop the honorific. Discreetly patting his side, reassured by the weight of a tiny box kept safe over several years, he hoped that day would come sooner than later.

And he was ready. Ready for promises – to make one especially that had been too long in coming and that he would do his best to uphold, to make her happy. He could offer her no less for hadn't she kept her promise? One he had never forgotten, one she had made so long ago, those words offering the faintest of hopes in the darkest of times that he could still remember so clearly for they were emblazoned forever in his heart.

_I promise, I'll always come back to you._


End file.
